"PAUL WESTERBERG"-PART THREE "BACK ON CAMPUS: THE PHONE CALL"

"PAUL WESTERBERG"

PART THREE:
BACK ON CAMPUS-THE PHONE CALL

TRACEY (racing into the room and grabbing the phone): Hello?
HEATHER: Hello? Is this Tracey?

TRACEY (with a beaming smile, heart pounding heavily): Yes!

HEATHER: You’re breathing heavy.

TRACEY (slight stammer): Uh…well, I was hurrying to…um…get the phone.

HEATHER: You were? You mean to tell me that out of all of the telephones that could’ve
been ringing on your floor you somehow, instinctively knew that the phone in question was yours and the actual call was for you? Not for your roommate. But…for you! My, your ears must have been burning.

Tracey laughs nervously.

HEATHER (slower, lower): So…were they?

TRACEY (flustered): Um…I would suppose so.

HEATHER: Don’t you know for sure?

TRACEY: Of course I do. (waits a beat) Yes!

HEATHER (low chuckle): Good!

Tracy is silent save for his breathing, which has begun to slow. His face is flushed as he is filled with nervous anticipation with what he may hear next.

HEATHER (teasing): You don’t know who this is, do you?

TRACEY (now honestly beginning to feel confused against his better judgment): Of course. Certainly.

HEATHER: Who am I?

TRACEY: Is this a trick question?

HEATHER: No, but I think that you gave me a trick answer by answering my question with a question (she elicits another low, throaty chuckle)

TRACEY: Nothing wrong with being cautious. I like to look before I leap.

HEATHER: Do you? Not a risk taker?

TRACEY: Not exclusively one way or another. It all depends upon the situation. (He next goes to sit down on the floor by his bed)

HEATHER: How about I meet you halfway and throw you a line?

TRACEY: If you wish.

HEATHER: What if I said that…I’m so sorry for not calling you yesterday. In fact, I am saying it.

TRACEY (smiling through a small sigh of relief): Heather, no apologies necessary. (a beat) But…thank you.

HEATHER: Tracey, I mean it. I fully intended to call you.

TRACEY: No worries, Heather. Really.

HEATHER: You weren’t waiting were you? I’d hate for you to think that I would purposefully leave you hanging on.

TRACEY: Like Diana Ross.

HEATHER: Precisely.

TRACEY: No. Seriously, none of that matters at all because…well…here we are.

HEATHER: Yes…and so we are.

A pause of heartbeats.

TRACEY: So…uh…tell me about your trip. How was it? How long did it take for you to get out of Chicago?

HEATHER: The trip was really great! Well, actually, let me strike that last statement from the records and re-phrase.

TRACEY: You may proceed.

HEATHER: My Grandmother’s birthday was wonderful. Colorado was just amazing! I can totally understand why she wants to live there. But, the trip itself? Oh Tracey…Tracey…Tracey…

TRACEY: That bad? Really? What happened?

HEATHER: Let’s not begrudge ourselves with sad stories.

TRACEY: Sad stories? Come on! (laughs)

HEATHER: It was truly a burden I do not wish to lay at your feet.

TRACEY: It’s no burden. I’m asking.

HEATHER: Tracey, trust me. The concept of time plus the passage of said time was completely re-contextualized to the point where quantities of seconds, minutes and hours as we know them became utterly meaningless. It really wasn’t a trip I am anxious to take again under those extremely arduous circumstances. That said, any and all flight delays endured by myself and my Dad did fortunately not lead to a series of flea bag motels, various forms of alternate modes of transportation or even careening the wrong way down the expressway.

TRACEY: “You’re going the WRONG WAY!!”

HEATHER (laughs): I was hoping you’d catch that.

TRACEY: Most certainly! I saw it the day it came out! I went to my last class of the morning, took the bus back to Chicago for Thanksgiving and high-tailed it to the movies that night. I barely even saw my family outside of Thanksgiving dinner that weekend ‘cause I saw it four times.

HEATHER: I saw it twice that same weekend! I have to tell you though, I cried. I cried so hard at the end. John Candy just broke my heart…he was so good!

TRACEY: I agree and I mean—who knew that Candy had that in him. Now, I have to say that I didn’t cry…

HEATHER (a la John Cleese): You heartless BASTARD!

TRACEY: Whoa! (laughs hard) I didn’t say that I wasn’t moved or affected. I just said that I didn’t cry. (laughs more) Actually, I think I had a residual effect to it. It was long after I got home that night when it all sank in for me and I remember thinking to myself, “Those are two very sad men!” To think, for everything that was so funny about it and in it, Hughes found a way to go really go deep. You know, when I saw it the third time, I was downtown and this time for this showing the theater was not only completely filled up, I swear that I was the youngest person there. It was all m idle aged people and even older. By the end, there was not a dry eye in the house. I heard sobs and sniffles all around me.

HEATHER: Where did you see it that time?

TRACEY: Water Tower. Why?

HEATHER: Which day was it?

TRACEY: Saturday. Saturday night to be more precise.

HEATHER: Which showing?

TRACEY: The 7:00 one. Why?

HEATHER: Tracey, I know without any doubts or questions to the contrary that you were not the sole representative of your age demographic at “Planes, Trains And Automobiles.”

TRACEY (smiling broadly): Don’t tell me that you were there.

HEATHER: I will completely disregard that feeble protest and tell you that I was at that very same showing as you.

TRACEY: And were your sobs part of the chorus?

HEATHER: Absolutely. (a beat) Are you making fun of me?

TRACEY (sincere): No. Of course not.

HEATHER (small chuckle): I’m just teasing.

TRACEY: You had me there.

HEATHER: Just keeping you on your toes.

TRACEY: That is not at all a difficult task.

HEATHER (slight purr to her voice): Really now…

TRACEY (feeling flushed): In fact…I’m…well, I’m enjoying trying to keep up with you.

HEATHER: Aww…I’m not so hard to keep up with.

TRACEY: You underestimate yourself.

HEATHER: Hmmm…

Another pause of heartbeats.

TRACEY: I just think it’s amazing.

HEATHER: What’s amazing?

TRACEY: That you and I were in the same movie theater at the same time and we never knew it.

HEATHER: But we didn’t even know each other.

TRACEY: Yes, that’s true. But, even so, I still find it amazing. How people just go about their business, go about their lives and have not even a concept of another person and then…those lives intersect.

HEATHER: Or don’t.

TRACEY: Exactly! Or don’t! I mean—what are the chances that you and I could have been circling around each other—in the movie theater, at this school—and who knows where else only to meet up at the Union. Come to think of it, that’s a significant sounding place to meet for the first time, don’t you think?

HEATHER: I suppose so…

TRACEY: Really…it’s not like that’s the first day either of us have ever been to the Union and yet, we met on that day at that time after maybe passing by each other completely unaware of each other and possibly countless times. You know what?

HEATHER: What?

TRACEY: My parents got together in a way sort of like what I am describing. They went to the same college, lived in the same dorm, had the same major, some of the same classes and they never knew the other existed until they met at a mutual friend’s housewarming party five years out of college.

HEATHER: That sounds like one of those “We’ll tell our grandkids” kind of stories.

TRACEY: Yeah…so I guess I’ll have to pass that one down if they don’t do it themselves. Especially since I don’t have any of those stories of my own—at least…ummm…I don’t think I do…

TRACEY

    Let’s take the needle off of the record for a moment. Right when those last words came out of my mouth, I knew that I possibly over-played my hand. Who am I kidding? I did over-play my hand. I didn’t mean to. I certainly didn’t intend to sound like I was mentally creating wedding plans but I know that’s definitely what I sounded like. I’ve gotta rebound quickly or she’s gonna regret even having met me. 

TRACEY (nervously):…uh…just kidding. (chuckles)

HEATHER

     I really believe that most of the time when someone says something like “I didn’t mean it that way,” or when they say “just kidding,” while laughing at the same time, they really mean the opposite. I just knew that Tracey was backpedaling but I didn’t realize from what until he said “just kidding.” I guess that I could see someone taking it as weird but I also guess that I think it’s nice to be thought of as being the source of a “We’ll tell our grandkids” story. I mean—you just never know, right? Even your Grandparents had to actually meet, right? I’d better toss him a line so he doesn’t back away.

HEATHER: “Just kidding”? About what? Hey! Did you get my postcard?

TRACEY: Yes! That was really the BEST surprise.

HEATHER: “Surprise”? I told you that I would write to you.
TRACEY: Well, you know…people tend to just say things sometimes. Or people have the right intent but they’re just busy.

HEATHER: Oh ye of little faith.

TRACEY: It’s not that I didn’t believe you.

HEATHER: Oh no? (laughs)

TRACEY: Of course I believed you but with your Grandmother’s birthday party, family and all, I figured that you wouldn’t have had the time.

HEATHER: Oh I made the time!

TRACEY: Really?

HEATHER: Well, more truthfully, I grabbed an opportunity. I covertly bought the postcard whle at O’Hare and even more covertly addressed it there too.

TRACEY: Why so secretive?

HEATHER: As much as I love my Dad, I just wanted to avoid the whole “You bought a postcard? Who is it for?” conversation.

TRACEY: Yeah, I’d do the same thing.

HEATHER: I addressed it literally seconds after I bought it, which was maybe an hour after I left the bus—mostly because I wanted to be sure that I didn’t misplace your address while travelling. Now the actual writing didn’t take place until a point during my Grandmother’s party and I snuck away for a bit and even then, I skedaddled down the road to a mailbox.

TRACEY: You “skedaddled”?

HEATHER: I sure did.

TRACEY: I would have loved to have seen that.

HEATHER: It is a sight.

TRACEY: You really snuck out?

HEATHER: Ahem…skedaddled.

TRACEY: Sorry…skedaddled, yes. You actually skedaddled from your Grandmother’s party to send me a postcard?

HEATHER: Of course.

TRACEY (mesmerized): I’m just…well…I mean…how didn’t anyone notice?

HEATHER: Oh Tracey, there were so many people there. The Harrison clan is a mighty, noisy bunch. George Harrison could have walked in, played his most popular songs and left completely unnoticed.

TRACEY: You were like the wind, huh?

HEATHER: Absolutely.

Another pause of heartbeats.

TRACEY: Look…um…Heather?

HEATHER: Yes?

TRACEY: Can I ask you something?

HEATHER: You just did.

TRACEY (initially confused): Um…yes, I sure did. OK…may I ask you something else?

HEATHER: You just did it again!

TRACEY (laughs): Oh man…how am I going to keep up with you?

HEATHER: Oh now, I’m not that fast.

TRACEY: So you say.

HEATHER: So I so. So I’m not.

TRACEY: OK…I’m gonna try this again. (takes a breath) Would you like to go out with me?

HEATHER (exhales): I never thought that you’d ask.

TRACEY: Um…so…would you?

HEATHER: Oh! I guess that I thought my answer was implied there. Yes, Tracey Wolf. Yes. I think that going out with you would be a lot of fun.

TRACEY: Great!

HEATHER: Did you have anything in mind?

TRACEY: Frankly…I only got as far as trying to ask you out.

HEATHER (laughs heartedly): Well, I did say that we should go out once we got back.

TRACEY: I know…but …you…um…never know. You know?

HEATHER (thoughtfully): Yes, I know.

TRACEY: How about this? We both like movies it seems, so why not a movie? “The Adventures Of Baron Munchausen” is playing at the Esquire.

HEATHER: Oooooh! I really want to see that!! I was never the biggest “Monty Python” fan but Terry Gilliam made probably the best film I’ve seen in years.

TRACEY: “Jabberwocky”?

HEATHER: Well played, sir. But no. “Brazil” of course.

TRACEY: Yeah, I figured. Just testing ya’. Well, I can tell you that this new one is great!

HEATHER: You’ve seen it?

TRACEY: Twice and I’d go again right now but as I’m talking to you, any immediate departure would be unspeakably rude.

HEATHER: So aside from manners and etiquette you’d be otherwise racing towards the theater?

TRACEY: No, not at all. George Lucas himself could premiere “Star Wars” episodes 1, 2, 3, 7, 8, and 9 right outside my door and I still wouldn’t hang up.  

HEATHER: I’m glad that I rate so highly. But how about John Hughes? What if he premiered his new film right outside your door and he was there in person?

TRACEY: I’d tell you to hurry over here!

HEATHER: Again, well played.

TRACEY: So…uh…is it a date then? Are we set?

HEATHER: Friday night?

TRACEY: Friday night it is.

HEATHER: Friday night it shall be.

TRACEY: Let’s see where it takes us.

HEATHER: Yeah! Who knows? You just may even see me “promenade”?
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