"Fourteen," the opening story from Tales From Memorial Union has now been officially released to the world in full and I have to say that I am somehow feeling a tremendous sense of satisfaction and completion, much as I felt when I originally completed writing the story on October 27, 2001 (as all of my handwritten notes have confirmed for me). And at this time, I can do nothing else but take this moment to thank each and every one of you.
My original plan was to be extremely tentative with publishing this story, mostly due to the fact that I have held it so tightly for so long that I was honestly scared to open it up to full view and judgement. For if I am going to be a part of this process, the process of writing that involves potentially having a reader and thus, being faced with that reader's opinions of the writing, I have to muster up a certain strength to deal with whatever arrives. Thankfully, your response to "Fourteen" has been a positive one and through your positiveness, courage was revealed.
No, I have not been magically inundated with fan mail because the response to "Fourteen" has been so seismic. No way! It's just that the few words that I have heard from you have been so kind, so encouraging and then, when I also happen to see this blogsite's viewership increase, that fueled me to release the next installment. It is because of you that this story was released in full this month, when I had originally intended for it to appear over several months...maybe.
Additionally, perhaps this was just the kick in the pants that I needed to try again and head back into the world of these characters and try to see if I could possibly one day finish the entire novel. As I have mentioned, only three stories have been fully written, "Fourteen," as well as the next two that I will be posting in the future...and even then, I still have to type up one of those stories as it is written in full and in longhand inside one of my journals! I have been re-inspired and I am unable to even begin to thank you as much as all of you deserve to be.
Now of course, the release of "Fourteen" had led to new anxieties (and where would I be without those?). In addition to fears of plagiarism (and of course, something that would lead to lengthy court battles which I do not have the deep pockets or the emotional wherewithal to fund), there is the idea of maybe the other stories not being as well received as "Fourteen" as the next two to be posted are considerably shorter and different in tone, especially one entitled "Tongue" that is more...ghostly, I guess (it has nothing to do with the supernatural--I'm not that gifted).
Also, in publishing "Fourteen," and reading it again, I found myself actually liking it as a story, as if somebody else wrote it...and yet, that someone really was me! If you could not tell, (ha ha) "Craig Hughes" is my alter-ego, I lived that time and yet nearly 20 years after all of that occurred, I tried to mine my memories and feelings to get in down on paper. For the rest of the book, I worry that nostalgia will glaze over honest emotion. I worry that whatever possessed me to write certain phrases in ways that felt literary will evade me in future stories. I worry that no one will care at all. I worry that perhaps my lengthiness will bore you to tears and wonder just why should you care about these people anyway.
As I am thinking about the novel in full right now, there will be six stories and I am currently in the weeds with two very lengthy ones right now, one titled "December Boys" and the other (currently being written in increasingly "artistic"/illegible longhand inside of two Moleskine journals), entitled "Paul Westerberg." The sixth story still only exists in my mind and heart. I deeply hope that I am able to deliver in ways that you will enjoy, making your time in reading these things worthwhile.
But for now, thank you all for being so kind to "Fourteen." It means more to me than you will EVER fully know.
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