DECEMBER BOYS
"A PILGRIMAGE ON A
TIMELESS NIGHT"
(5th section) TIMELESS NIGHT"
The remainder of the morning continued in a mental fog pierced with the
brightness of the sun. The trio staggered to Josie Fagen’s dorm of Witte Hall,
where Mariah collected her possessions and deposited Josie’s room keys with a
floor mate. After then dropping off Mariah’s clothes at Rhett’s dorm in Ogg
Hall, the threesome traveled back to the Lakeshore dorms to crash in Craig’s
room for the rest of the morning, as well as the entirety of the afternoon into
early evening. Upon waking, it was then decided to give Mariah Esposito a
proper introduction to the university—after a strategically placed phone call
to Mariah’s parents, designed to cut them off at the pass and to extol the
virtues of a productive and informative weekend college visit. Craig alerted
his floor mates to Mariah’s situation (mostly to ensure her private visits to
the bathroom) and then happily introduced them all to each other. After a quick
meal of sorts at The Shed, Rhett and Craig presented Mariah to a typically
festive Spring night at Memorial Union. While Craig eventually had to depart in
order to collect some records and broadcast his radio show, Rhett and Mariah
ended up at the more subdued Union South for comical bowling and continued
exposure to the sights and sounds of campus life. The night ended quietly with
more pizza and more soda in Rhett’s room while listening to “Road To Nowhere.”
Rhett silently drifted off to sleep on his bed leaving Mariah in the solitude
of the moment. As she sat in one of the more comfortable chairs, allowing the
chilly night time Spring breeze to caress her face, Mariah breathed deeply,
letting her heart beat slow and unwound the weekend’s events in her mind like
film unspooling from projector. She pondered the success to failure ratio of
her visit thus far and quickly deduced that despite the troubling beginnings
and unplanned morning odyssey, it was a voyage well worth taking and one she
was already feeling disappointment at having to leave behind the next morning.
Even the callousness of Josie Fagen already seemed to be eons away and failed
to derail the weekend’s purpose. On the contrary, Josie’s actions quite
possibly enhanced her positive feelings for the experience and for a split
second, Mariah wondered if she should even thank Josie…but, even as a surprise
to herself, she was not in a forgiving mood and would refuse to be so
concerning her now former friend. Thinking back to the seemingly eternal hours
she spent sitting alone in a foreign dormitory’s festivities, fending off the
glances of drunken suitors, she began to feel a sense of pride at her own strength
in the situation, which was presented with an untouchable standoffishness that
no one was truly brave enough to breach. She never knew she had it in her and
she discovered a certain and previously unforeseen power. She had remained
brave. She felt secure in her decisions of whom to place trust. In
conversations held with Rhett and Craig, she surprised herself with her own
assertiveness. At first, she felt is purely stemmed from her anger towards
Josie but after a moment, she reasoned that if her assertions popped from her
unexpectedly, those same feelings may have emerged at some point whether fueled
by Josie or not. Maybe strength and assertiveness were qualities she had
already possessed but never had the opportunity to try. There was no way to ever
really know with unquestioned certainty but she didn’t want to diminish this
discovery made at this moment at this institution. There was something so
right with her current train of thought and while she didn’t want to
elevate anything past the point of rationality, it was too important to ignore
or discount. The rising elation she felt throughout her body spoke a truth to
her that words couldn’t handle on their own. Mariah felt an ease with her
surroundings, an ease she never felt in high school and the potential of
feeling this way for hopefully extended periods and perhaps even stronger and
more assured was definitely tempting. It felt as if she had shed a skin. That
whatever had kept her quieter, as a follower, as one to be dragged along by the
pursuits of those more adventurous, had now become something to be
discarded.
She had seen the potential of a future
self and she didn’t want anything to cease that evolution. If it were possible,
her college adventures in Madison
Mariah rose and strode across the room in a
way as to not evaporate her building epiphany and began to investigate the
contents of Rhett’s educational pursuits. She paged through his copious and
visually frenetic notes. She thumbed through his textbooks on Philosophy and
novels to study for Comp Lit. She inspected the resoundingly unfamiliar names
of Derrida, Foucault, and Jung and chuckled quietly to herself as she envisioned
the names as an organization of an ancient group of attorneys. She began to envision
herself striding up and down Bascom Hill or walking down University Avenue
Surprising herself again, she realized that she wanted to learn more
about Craig Hughes. While he was alternately shy or awkward with his sense of
humor, which she did feel was over compensating for any sense of shyness, he
had been a truly gracious host and a person she felt she would love to have on
her side in this environment. As she listened to his radio program, she heard a
different side to Craig. He sounded more confident, more self-assured and
perhaps it was because he was in his natural element of music, a quality she
found admirable during their visit to Memorial Union. The music he played on
his program mostly consisted of pop songs of varying styles, intensity and
moods but all of it contained a slightly left-of-center quality that felt
obscure to her ears. Much like everything else she had experienced this
weekend, the music served as another invitation to a place beyond what she
already knew and again, she wanted more. As his radio program continued to
provide a soundtrack to her new awakenings, she felt a synchronicity that she
wanted to acknowledge personally. Impulsively, she reached for the telephone, began
to dial the often repeated request line number, and after the too-late
beginnings of the ringing tone on the other end, her heart began racing.
“WLHA?” Craig answered.
“Hello,” she began tentatively. “Um…may I speak with Craig Hughes?”
That voice again. That unmistakable, siren-like voice.
“Mariah?”
“Yes! How did you know it was me?” she asked quizzically.
Not wanting to give himself away, Craig tried to act quickly. “Just a
lucky guess…I guess,” he said, feigning a certain slyness that he was uncertain
was terribly successful.
“I see.”
Immediately seizing upon a dark thought, Craig worriedly asked, “Are you
OK?”
“Yes, I’m fine. What’s wrong? You sound concerned?”
“Where are you?”
“I’m at Rhett’s. He’s sleeping and I’m just…” Mariah breathed a deep,
happy sigh. “I‘m just taking it all in.”
“Oh,” said Craig, sounding relieved. “I had this vision that you had
been abandoned once again at some party.”
Mariah laughed heartedly at the notion of cruel fate occurring twice in
a weekend as Craig luxuriated within the sound of her melodic amusement. “If I
am ever subjected to anything like that again, just shoot me because it
will definitely be of my own lack of judgment!”
“Glad to hear that all is well.”
“It certainly is.”
Pause.
“So…” Craig began cautiously. “Why are you calling?”
“Would you prefer that I hadn’t?” asked Mariah with a flirtatiousness
that even took her by shock. It was too late to return that tone back into her
body.
“No. That’s not what I meant at all,” he stammered. “I’m just
surprised…Happily surprised.”
“I guess I’m surprised too.”
“How so?”
“I just didn’t think I’d get through. I’ve never really known anyone to
get through to a radio station. Not that I’ve ever tried it myself…Until now,
that is.”
“No worries there,” Craig chuckled. “I hardly ever get calls or requests.”
“Really? I like your show. It has a good…vibe…I don’t know if
that’s the word I’m looking for. But, I’m having a good time listening to it.”
“Why thank you!” gushed a positively flattered Craig. “I mean—it’s late
Saturday night. I would imagine that there aren’t too many people around in
their dorms listening to the radio right now. And then, there’s the issue of
our highly deficient wattage to deal with. I’m amazed that you can even hear me
now.”
“It’s as clear as a bell.”
“Hmmm. That means the wind is blowing in the right direction.”
Mariah laughed and Craig was pleased she found his comment humorous.
“So, why do you do this if you don’t get requests, calls and wonder if
anyone is listening in the first place?”
“God!” he beamed. “Why wouldn’t I do this?”
“Childhood fantasy fulfilled?” asked Mariah, completely picking up on
the source of Craig’s joy.
“I couldn’t have said it better myself. You have a great way with words,
you know.”
“Why thank you, sir.”
Another brief pause.
“What is this music you’re playing now?” Mariah inquired.
“Mott The Hoople.”
“Who?”
“Mott The Hoople,” Craig began to explain, and hoping to ring the
correct bells of musical memories. “They’re a 70’s band. David Bowie wrote
their song ‘All The Young Dudes’.”
“I don’t know what that is.”
“Really?” asked an honestly stunned Craig, who still found it difficult
to comprehend people who hadn’t previously heard songs which he felt were
universally familiar. “Maybe you would know it if I played it. I’d have to look
for it though and I really hope we have it. I mean-any self respecting radio
station would have that song but we are notorious for not having even the most
seminal works,” he chuckled.
“You know, even if you did play it, I really don’t think I would know it
at all. “ Then, ensuring no signs of
disappointment were inferred, she added sweetly, “But don’t let me stop you.
I’d love to hear it”
“A rare request…sort of,” he laughed. “I will look for it.”
“A rare request…sort of,” he laughed. “I will look for it.”
“Great,” she said and then after a brief pause she added, ”Thank you Mr.
DJ!” with another unexpected bout of honey sounding flirtatiousness (before she
knew it, she had even dropped her voice a register) that indeed sent the
intended chemically emotional response to Craig, who then nearly bumped into
the record player’s stylus on the upcoming track he had selected for broadcast.
And after that momentary firework blast…silence. A somewhat lengthy one
at that. Within that silence, Craig and
Mariah both mentally returned to that fleeting instance where their brains and
hearts were happily and confoundingly scrambled by the Botkin House bathroom
the night before. Again, Craig was unsure as to what he had heard, the tone in
which he heard it as well as the intent and possibility that she would ever be
of interest to him. If he did hear what he felt he heard, perhaps it wasn’t
even directed to him. Perhaps she was feeling frisky for some unknown
reason and just let it out. It would’ve happened anytime, anywhere. Mariah was
equally unsure as to where this unusual behavior emerged from and exactly what
it was about this person that allowed her to behave this way. Perhaps he saw
right through her as some silly high school girl feebly trying to create a
worldly romantic façade she could not have possibly have earned in any way at
this stage of her life. What they were both absolutely, positively and
completely certain of was that neither one of them wanted to hang up the
telephone.
Finally, breaking the silence, Craig spoke. “Would you mind holding on
for just a minute?”
“You know…I could just get going.”
“Oh no,” he said, a little too hurriedly. “I just have to grab a few more records to get the next set started. This song’s about over and besides, I have a request to fill.”
“Oh no,” he said, a little too hurriedly. “I just have to grab a few more records to get the next set started. This song’s about over and besides, I have a request to fill.”
Mariah smiled and she hoped that Craig could hear it.
Once the voice of Robyn Hitchcock announced the station’s call letters,
(an audio snippet designed to also signal a musical tonal change in song
selections), Mariah’s ears were greeted with the opening somnambulistic chords
and narcotic beat of U2’s “Love Comes Tumbling.” Mariah felt like picking
Craig’s brain about life on the UW campus, an interview Craig was only too
happy to oblige.
“I realize this might be a cliché, but…what’s your major?” she inquired
with a knowing giggle.
“I am actually undeclared right now.”
“Is that bad? Don’t you have to have one?
“No. Not right away. It’s not like the ‘University Major Police’ will seek you out or anything. My parents, on the other hand…that’s a whole another ball of pressure. If they had their way, I would have picked my major during Sophomore year of high school!”
“No. Not right away. It’s not like the ‘University Major Police’ will seek you out or anything. My parents, on the other hand…that’s a whole another ball of pressure. If they had their way, I would have picked my major during Sophomore year of high school!”
“Maybe your parents and my parents should get together.”
“Really? Are you under the microscope too?”
“Very much so. Don’t get me wrong. I love my parents. I cannot imagine a
world without the two of them in it. It’s like they have always been here, you
know? I do realize they only want the best for me so I can’t complain terribly
much about it but yes…it would be nice if they eased up a little from time to
time. It’s like they feel that I’m not hearing what they’re saying or that I am
actively choosing to not listen or worse yet, ignore them. I am honestly
hanging onto their every word but when they say the same things for an hour,
it’s just gets to be too much sometimes.”
Craig exuded an empathetic laugh. “I completely understand what you
mean! My parents are like an endurance tag team. One of them will lay into me
for one thing or another for seemingly an eon and then, when it seems like it’s
going to slow down, Mom will pass the baton to Dad or he will pass the baton to
her and then they go at it with me. I’m amazed that they never seem to run out
of words, breath or energy. I don’t think they really take into account that
the act of listening takes up almost even more energy.”
“Do they try to quiz you on what they’ve said?”
“Mercilessly,” he snickered dryly. “And…I think they actually enjoy that
part so I have to stay on my toes.”
“I will amend my earlier statement. Our parents should definitely meet.
They could hold a summit, passionately discuss our respective futures and share
any deep worries they have for their obviously and completely unfocused
children,” she laughed.
Laughing a little harder, Craig added, “I would really hate to be the
subject of that kind of a summit!”
“So back to your status as undeclared,” said Mariah. “Do you have any
ideas of what you might want to do?”
“Yes. I know it’s not what my parents would want for me but then again,
I think they would be happy if I picked something. But, I am thinking of
Communication Arts. They have three different course tracks you can take and
the Radio-TV-Film track is the one that speaks to me. I originally wanted to be
a Journalism major but after looking at the courses which many of them looked
to be like classes in law, it lost its luster for me.”
“So, you’re a writer?”
“I don’t know…I just know that I like to write. Its one of the only
things I feel comfortable with. I think I told people I wanted to be Journalism
major back in high school just so people would stop asking me what I wanted to
major in. I always felt like I had to say something.”
“I have to admit, that line of questioning is grating to say the least.
I mean—just let me graduate from high school first. I do have a few weeks left
yet, as well as a graduation ceremony to attend to. Do I have to know my entire
college destiny now?”
“Please don’t hang up when I ask you this but…do you have any ideas of
what you want to major in?”
“I won’t hang up. Don’t worry. Ummm…you know, I have always had this
thing for History.”
“Really?”
“Don’t you?”
“Well…it’s
not like I have anything against history. No vendettas, arguments or accusations
against it. Not like Science.”
“Mortal enemies?” Mariah asked.
“To the bitter end, definitely,” Craig laughed somewhat painfully as the
sound of his disapproving parents flashed through his brain. “But History…It’s
hard for me, I guess. If it is not connected to a topic I’m already interested
in, the dates and places get jumbled in my head. I mean—I could give you the
history of a band or the entire life track of a director and how that path may
relate to something else but if you tossed say…the life path of King Agamemnon
at me, I’d drown. What is it about History that appeals to you?”
“Weeeelllll,” Mariah drawled to Craig’s content, “I know when I was
younger, it was really a fascination with how much simpler life seemed to be. I
guess it was something more romantic than real but still…I think what really
grabbed me was this Social Studies teacher I had last year. She was a lawyer.
She only taught from time to time and she was really one of those teachers
you’d never want to cross. I mean—the first day of class, she like gets up in
front of everyone and lays down her own personal and exhaustive Magna Carta, to
which she ends with ‘And if any of you think I’m a BITCH, then that’s
right!! I’m a BITCH!!’” she concluded after demonstrating bloodthirsty
imitation.
“So, you liked History because you were under duress?”
“No,” she laughed. “What got to me was this idea that just because it is
in a book doesn’t always mean that’s the way it happened. She used to always
say that while there’s truth in facts, facts aren’t necessarily the truth and
how we must always, always, always question everything including her! I thought
that was brave. I mean-she was the first teacher I ever had that that really
seemed to want for us to think, you know? She challenged us to not take
everything at face value and that History is about everything that’s left out
as much as everything that’s left in. And why were things left out and all of
the stories that can come from why things were left in and out and so on and I
got to thinking that History is the account of every single person that lived
it and that’s when I fell in love with it. I really like thinking about what
came before me, what came before my parents and my friends and just people I
don’t know at all. I mean—who walked this campus long before you and Rhett got
here? Who built this place? Why were things designed to look they way they do?
It’s all connected, I guess and I like looking at the connections. Ooooh! I
just love architecture and art history too and I was just looking through
Rhett’s books and notes and I just can’t wait to find out more and…I’m rambling
aren’t I? Just going off, huh?”
“No, not at all!” said Craig filled with a growing affection for this
girl who had taken the time to call him up. “I really get a clearer picture of
it. I guess I never thought of History that way. In fact, it sounds a lot like
how Rhett thinks of things too.”
“Yeah. He gets his head in the clouds quite a bit. Before I knew him, I
used to think he was perpetually stoned but I realized he’s just naturally in
another place.”
“I can see that. You know, he was very right about you too.”
“How so?”
“He told me that when you don’t tend to say terribly much but when you
get going, you get going.”
“Ah, so he thinks I can’t just shut up, huh?” she mused while
compulsively twirling the telephone cord.
“I really don’t think that’s what he meant. I’m glad to hear you and
hear what you think about things. And besides, I’m a captive audience…happily
so and what else am I gonna do anyway?”
“Um…your radio show, perhaps?”
“That’s easy. I’ve got songs and songs lined up.”
And so he did. They conversed through World Party’s “All Come True,” chatted
through Oingo Boingo’s “Long Breakdown,” parlayed through The DBs “I Lie,” and
prattled through Fleetwood Mac’s “Sands Of Time.” For both Mariah and Craig,
time became elastic as before either of them even realized it, 50 minutes had
passed without a trace of dead air, either on or off the air, had occurred.
Soon, it was almost time for Craig to end his broadcast and whatever gossamer
thread held the two together in stimulating conversation, he was anxious not to
break it and he hoped she felt the same. So, he tried to push it a little bit
longer.
“So, are you definitely coming here?”
“After this weekend, there is absolutely no question in my mind in the
least,” said Mariah with a clear-eyed certainty that matched her words.
“Then my work here is done!” said Craig with a deep-voiced mock bravado.
“You should work for the university then,” she said.
“Who knows? Maybe I will. But until that day arrives, I was also
wondering if you have any idea of where you might live?”
“Who knows what the collective deities of student housing will do with
me but I can tell you that I listed Chabourne Hall as my top choice. Girls
only, you know, but at least it’s not the…what did you call it…oh yeah…’The
Virgin Vault’.”
“Look…I’m sorry about that. It’s just a name that’s goes all over campus
and…”
“Don’t worry about it,” she consoled. “I was just mad about Josie and everything
was making me angry then. It already feels like a year ago. So, yes, going
back to housing, I wanted a place that was girls only.”
“Ah…girls only,” said Craig sounding more relaxed after being released
from his early morning faux-pas, which did indeed already feel like a year ago.
“I can relate. I picked where I’m living because it was boys only but you know,
there’s girls around so much of the time that I’ve just gotten used to it.”
“Is that so?” she asked flirtatiously.
“Hey! I didn’t say they were coming from my room. I just said
that they were around.”
“OK then. Because, if you were the campus lothario, I would have no idea
of how you ever got any studying done at all. I am fully aware of the
reputation this school has for partying…and so do my parents so that is making
them trepidatious about having me attend.”
“I feel that I must respond to both points. First off, the concept of me
being a campus lothario. I’m flattered and ultimately confounded as to how you
could have ever come up with that descriptive term for me,” he began laughing.
“Why would that be so hard to believe?” she inquired coquettishly.
“Because,“ he began tentatively
and thinking of the current non-existent state of his romantic life, “it’s just
not true.” After a hiccup of a pause he continued. “Anyhow, as for your second
point about this being a party school. I had a high school classmate who was a
year ahead of me tell me when I was finishing high school that maybe I should
re-think coming here because this is such a party school. He told me that he
just couldn’t get anything done and he actually transferred to somewhere else.
But, you know, all I could think of is who put the gun to his head and told him
to go to the party and not study. This school has about 40,000 students and
there’s so many other things to do than party and besides, you’ll be so busy
that you really won’t have time to party that much.”
“So what do you do?”
“Well…it may sound boring to you or others but I love going to movies,
hanging out at the Union , doing this radio
show…man, just sitting in the dorm hallways with my friends and just talking
for hours and hours is great. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”
“That doesn’t sound boring to me,” she said tenderly. “In fact, I think
that really sounds…perfect.”
Another pause to allow the words to sail through the telephone wires to
Craig’s ears and heart.
“Well…I know you’ll have Rhett around but if you need a study partner…”
“Oh…you’ll be a Junior then. I’m sure you’d be too busy for anything
like that.”
“I’m just putting it out there. And trust me, you’ll be busy too. You’ll
be so busy that you just may even skip a class just to do the work for it. In
fact, there will even be times when your body just says, ‘No.’”
“What do you mean my body will just say ‘No’?”
“Not long ago, I got up for class as always. I took my shower, got
dressed, went to ‘The Virgin Vault’ for my morning orange juice, walked down
Bascom Hill to the Humanities building for an English lecture. I got to the
door, placed my hand on the door handle, opened it, looked inside and somehow,
someway, my body said, ‘No.’ And somehow, by some force that didn’t seem to
come from me, I closed the door and walked down to Library Mall and just sat by
the fountain and watched people.”
“You skipped class?!”
“Yup, I did! Now, what I said about skipping classes to do the homework,
that’s very true. There are just times where I felt that the little time I had
would be better spent doing the work then sitting listening to a lecture. But,
on this day…that morning at least, I just did…nothing. Now, it’s nothing I make
a habit of and it was a great day but I think my body was telling me to unplug
a little. So I did.”
“Wow!” she exhaled incredulously.
“Do me a favor please…just don’t tell my parents because if they knew I
had even skipped one class, they would tag-team me until I was 38!”
“Your secret is safe with me.”
“Mariah…I really, really hate to do this but speaking of
unplugging, I’ve reached then end of my show and I have to get a couple tunes
before we go off the air.”
“Oh…do you need me to hang up?”
“Please don’t. Not just yet. Would you hang
on for another minute though?”
“Sure.”
It was a magical night and Mariah deeply meant what she had said about
the adventures of that very morning feeling like they had transpired a year in
the past. In fact, she has felt as if she had gone further through her
metamorphosis and her emergence into that person she wanted to become was even
more of a reality. Listening to the song on the radio, she began to sway
against the wall, swinging the telephone cord languorously to the beat, feeling
so charmed and lifted by the night, the soundtrack and the conversation. It had
to end, of course but maybe there was some way to carry it with her.
“I’m back,” said Craig returning to the phone.
“What song is this?”
“This is ‘They Never Will Know’ by Marshall Crenshaw.”
“It’s pretty.”
“Yeah, I love it too.”
“Look…did you say that you tape your shows?”
“Yeah.”
“I was wondering. Do you think there would be a way to make a copy for me?”
“Absolutely!! I can do it right after I go off the air.”
“Oh you don’t have to go to that kind of trouble. You could just send it
to me. Rhett knows my address.”
“It’s fine. I’d be so happy to do it.”
“Why…thank you,” she said, genuinely touched by the gesture.
“I actually have to go this time, Mariah. I have to talk on the air
now.”
“Oh! Well…let me let you go then.”
“Yeah,” he said, not knowing what else to say.
“I really hope that we can talk again soon, Craig. Thank you so much
again for last night and this morning. If most people on this campus are
anything like you, then this will be a very rewarding experience for me.”
“I…I don’t know what to say,” said a deeply
affected Craig. “Um…thank you, Mariah. I really hope we can talk again soon
too.”
“Well…bye and good night,” she said sweetly.
“Good night to you too.”
They hung up.
As the final notes faded into the night’s airwaves, Craig breathed a
long, soulful sigh. To what he owed for receiving a wonderful exchange such as
this he did not know and for a moment, he actually questioned if Mariah even
knew to whom she was speaking.
Mariah was also in a state of afterglow only returning to the present by
the sleepy grumblings of Rhett, who was now stirring on his bed.
“Did you say something?” he croaked.
Mariah answered him with the most bashful of smiles. She wasn’t ready to
divulge just yet.
The following morning as Rhett was preparing to escort Mariah back to
the bus destined for Minneapolis
“Just as requested here is last night’s show. Thank you so very much.
I had a great time! Have a safe trip
back home and I really do hope we cross paths again once you come toMadison
back home and I really do hope we cross paths again once you come to
Take care,
Craig”
Craig”
There was so much to ponder and wonder as she rode home. She indeed felt
as certain as before. She would be attending college in Madison
Mariah Esposito completed high school in early June sailing though her
final exams with a focus that even amazed her already proud parents. She
quickly attained a summer job to assist with payment for her upcoming school
supplies and books and by August, she was more than ready. As she stepped from
her home into her parents’ car for the drive into her future, she celebrated
the time by listening again to her cassette, on which the final song was
directed exclusively to her. It was indeed “All the Young Dudes,” where Craig
introduced with a sweet, “Even the familiar is new somewhere for someone.”
How true, she thought. Mariah listened to the show and the song in
particular over and over. While she would mostly be unsure as to the song
original meaning, she felt that for her, it was a song of the future. One that
she was bursting to meet head on.
Copyright 2015 by Scott Collins All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author's rights.
